Navigating Outside Opinions on Relationships: A Woman's Perspective

Posted on 16 June, 2023 by Marie Lafortune

Navigating Outside Opinions on Relationships: A Woman's Perspective

Relationships are complex and deeply personal journeys that involve two individuals. However, it is not uncommon for outside opinions to seep into romantic lives, often unsolicited and unwelcome. We also find ourselves in situations where we give and receive advice. Whether it is solicited or comes from our close connections, the exchange of advice is a common occurrence. However, it is essential to recognize that not all advice is beneficial or welcome. In this blog, I will explore the pros and cons of outside opinions on relationships from a woman's perspective. Additionally, I will discuss strategies for effectively dealing with these opinions, ensuring that our choices and happiness remain at the forefront.

From a personal standpoint, my friends always find a safe place to discuss things with me because they know I’m a freaking grave. When they told me a story, it “Rests in Peace Eternally”. Some even know that when they are trying to bring up the same subject over the course of a year, I won't remember it because it has been burried a long time ago.

As an outsider in my friends' relationships, I attempted to be honest with myself and assist them in discovering what they truly wanted for themselves. My best friend despises it when I am overly optimistic. When she is ready to leave a relationship, and I keep asking her is that what she truly desires. Some of the time, she is not willing to leave the relationship but rather to vent, and it's normal.

It is difficult to distinguish between when people want to vent and when they are truly fed up with a relationship. I'm not a relationship expert, but I was raised by a strong woman, and I have lived with five wonderful ladies, not to mention the wonderful friends and acquaintances I've had in my life, so I can easily relate to and see through many stories.

But let me tell you, do not freak out; I do not always point my nose at people’s stories unless asked. I know perfectly how outside opinions on pretty stable relationships could be detrimental. I do not encourage it, but it’s not all bad either. Here are some pros and cons of outside opinions you can relate to.

They provide alternative perspectives:

Outside opinions can provide fresh perspectives and insights that we may have overlooked. Friends and family who genuinely care about our well-being can offer valuable advice based on their own experiences, helping us see different sides of a situation.

They can help identify “Red Flags”:

We all understand red flags now and are more attentive to them. It is true that they can be different for everyone, but objective opinions from trusted individuals can help us identify these potential red flags or warning signs in a relationship. Sometimes, we may be too close or too emotionally invested to recognize certain behaviors. An outside opinion can be crucial to protecting your emotional and physical well-being while helping you make the difference between truth and lies.

Nonetheless, they are not always on the positive side. 

Some are “Bias and Subjective”

Absolutely! Outside opinions are often colored by personal biases, experiences, and expectations. Remember that sometimes people, including me, think about similar experiences to tell you about the possibilities of how that relationship could go or end. People may project their own desires or fears onto your relationships, potentially clouding their judgment and providing advice that may not align with your unique circumstances.

Incomplete Understanding:

Oftentimes, those who offer opinions on our relationships rarely possess a complete understanding of the dynamics, history, and intricacies involved. They may make judgments based on limited information from one side of the story, which could potentially lead the advisor to give inaccurate or misinformed advice.

You are not first, last, or alone in all such situations. You can deal with them; believe it or not, we all need shoulders to vent on sometimes, and that’s okay.

Here are some strategies to deal with outside opinions like a pro.

Set Boundaries:

Establish clear boundaries with friends, family, and acquaintances regarding your relationship. Communicate your desire for privacy and let them know when their opinions are unwelcome or cross a line. I don’t mind saying that one of my friends put me in my place when I told her that she was wrong about a situation she explained to me. She clearly told me, and I’m quoting her “I love you, but I am telling you just to remove it from my chest, not for advice purposes”. Was I mad? Yes, but it was fair enough, and I agree. It was unwelcome, and I did not understand the assignment at the beginning, so I sat down and listened to her until she finished her story.

Trust your instincts.

My ladies are intuitive. Guided by our own voice. Whether your instincts tell you you are right or wrong, you might be. The decision is always yours, and remember that you are the one who knows your relationship best. Trust your instincts and rely on your own judgment when making decisions. You have a unique perspective that no one else can fully comprehend.

Seek advice from trusted sources.

If you do choose to seek outside opinions, confide in individuals you trust and who have demonstrated their support and understanding over and over. People who are consistent and always real with you. Seek advice from those who have a balanced and objective approach. People who will not take your side because they know you, but who would put you in your place when needed. Please consider multiple perspectives.

Open Communication with Your Partner:

Don’t think I wasn’t going to mention the need to include your partner: the main actor”. It is a must to have “open communication” like these employments with “open door policies”. If you remember how your coworkers gossiped with HR about a coworker, you’d understand that your partner needs to be HR sometimes. Discuss something about that employee that pissed you off or the rule that your partner hasn’t followed with the HR side of your partner. Please maintain open and honest communication with your partner about outside opinions. Discuss how you both want to handle them, establishing a united front. This way, you can tackle any challenges together and strengthen your bond.

Prioritize Self-Care:

By now, you should know that “self-care” is my expression. I would never be done with this blog if I did not encourage my ladies to make self-care a priority. But darn! Dealing with outside opinions can be emotionally draining. Prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that bring you joy, seeking support from trusted friends or therapists, and practicing self-reflection to ensure your needs and happiness are met.

Outside opinions on relationships can be both a blessing and a burden. While they may offer valuable insights, they can also be biased or based on limited understanding. As women, it is important to set boundaries, trust our instincts, seek advice selectively, communicate openly with our partners, and prioritize self-care. By taking these steps, we can navigate outside opinions with grace and ensure that our relationships remain centered around our own choices and happiness.